Ibland är det bra med en lång paus

Jag fick nyligen ett mail från en person, Stephen Warley,  jag följde. Plötsligt var det tyst i över två år och sedan kom det ett mail som berättade varför. Du kan läsa det nedan. Han skriver bland annat:

I’m here to tell you that “stopping” is an action and it can be the most impactful action you can take as it was for me. Stopping and stepping back provides a fresh perspective. I wasn’t sure what I needed to change, but I knew I could no longer go on in the way I was doing it. To grow, I knew I needed to stop

Det här brevet slog an en sträng hos mig. Den här våren har för mig varit en vår med färre uppdrag än vanligt och mer obokad tid i kalendern. Istället för att känna en stress över det kan jag precis som Stephen se det som en möjlighet att reflektera över vad jag vill fortsätta göra och hur för att få olika pusselbitar till en bild av en önskad fortsättning. Det blir intressant att se vad som växer fram.

Här är Stephens brev:

Hey there!

I last sent out our Weekly Reflection Reminder on June 26, 2021.

I wrote about how I get out of my own way,

“And as a real-time example of getting out of my own way, I’m pausing this Weekly Reflection Reminder email for the summer!

I’m conserving my creative juices to pour into lots of reflection, writing, brainstorming and experimenting as we work on the next phase of Life Skills That Matter!”

That August I paused our podcast and by the end of that year, I finally admitted to myself, the need to pause all operations of Life Skills That Matter.

Little did I know that “pause” would last two and a half years!

WHY I STOPPED

Honestly?

I felt stuck.

I was burning out on a mission I was still intensely passionate about.

It was quite a paradox!

Every aspect of Life Skills That Matter started to feel like a grind even six months before I decided to come to a full stop.

Interviewing people who made their work, work for them on our podcast always made me feel high as a kite, but producing the podcast slowly made me feel more and more drained.

After five years of writing blog posts, I was struggling to find subjects I was excited to write about.

Worst of all, I was starting to violate much of the business advice I was sharing with our community!

I wasn’t building a business around a system, I was building it around myself and that was unsustainable.

Fortunately, I knew I didn’t want to give up on my life’s work to inspire others to change how they work, so work can work for them.

However, I was no longer clear about the most effective method for continuing to work on my mission.

So, me being me, I chose an unconventional option.

I just stopped working altogether on LSTM even as it was making money!

STOPPING GIVES YOU CLARITY

Our work culture celebrates doing more, better and faster as the antidote to all our work challenges.

After all, if you aren’t “doing” you can’t possibly be working!

It’s as if we’re all managing our careers by driving a car using only the gas pedal and there is a sign across the brake that says, “Do not touch, even in an emergency!”

I’m here to tell you that “stopping” is an action and it can be the most impactful action you can take as it was for me.

Most importantly, stopping gets you off the hamster wheel you’re on.

Sometimes you’re moving so fast in your career or as you build your business, but you may no longer know if you’re still moving in the right direction.

Stopping and stepping back provides a fresh perspective.

As the old saying goes, “You can’t see the label from inside the jar.”

HOW TO KNOW WHEN TO STOP

When feelings of uncertainty bubble up about our work, we double down on our default mode of working more, harder and faster.

I know I have.

Guess what happens?

Your energy wanes, you feel less motivated, you’re anxious or worse, you burn out or feel depressed.

I’m asking you to listen to your feelings as I did!

Yah, they are uncomfortable, but ignore them at your own peril!

When you stop, you start realizing you have far more options than you realize. It gives you the space to start seeing and considering them.

When you give into a frenzy of anxious doom loop thoughts, they back you into a corner and convince you there is only one way forward. It’s just not true!

If you feel stuck or think you are going to force a solution to what ails you, please just STOP!

Stepping away from Life Skills That Matter stopped me from “overthinking” which was only getting me more and more stuck.

Focusing on other aspects of my life gave my brain the space it needed to see new patterns and opportunities outside of my rational mind.

Over time, I started picking up small puzzle pieces to start revealing what was working and what wasn’t.

The world around you is also constantly changing and sometimes you need to stop to see how you are going to change with it.

Heaven forbid we should ever look like we don’t know what we’re doing!

I’ll be honest, after five years of running LSTM, how I was operating it in 2021 was no longer working for me or our community.

I wasn’t sure what I needed to change, but I knew I could no longer go on in the way I was doing it.

To grow, I knew I needed to stop.

After two and a half years, I now have that clarity about how I want to proceed with Life Skills That Matter.

WHAT DO YOU NEED TO STOP?

What have you been trying to figure out or avoid or is making you feel stuck?

It could be something as big as making a change in your career or as small as getting a task completed.

Have you ever tried stopping and stepping away?

If you haven’t, try stepping away and come back to your challenge an hour later, a day later or in the case of LSTM, two and a half years later!

I’m SO excited to be back and to be writing for you!

If you have any follow-up questions, please simply reply to this email!

Remember, it’s possible!

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